Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Gene Chizik and Vampires: A PSA

 

It all started with an offhand comment; at least I think it was an offhand comment. There’s a distinct possibility that Gene Chizik actually believes in Energy Vampires:

Chizik’s message to all the so-called haters is simple. In short, get a good look at the ring.
“Whatever people want to say or whatever somebody is comfortable talking about in terms of talk radio or other places, we have absolutely no control over that,” Chizik said. “But here’s what we know: We are the national champions, and we were the best football team in the United States last year. There’s nothing I have to do to defend our honor for that.
“They’re going to say what they’re going to say and discuss what they’re going to discuss, and you have absolutely no control over that. I call those energy vampires. They’re not going to suck my energy out worrying about that. That’s how we work.”

Then again, “Energy Vampires”  have an actual Wikipedia page, so that adds some credence to the term. As does an entry from someone claiming to be a “Doctor”. Yes, on that same website there is an extended entry from “Dr.” Goldberg where, when asked if he’s a time traveler responds with this:

If I am a time traveler, I most definitely would be from the 35th century when teleportation is developed as a means of time travel.

The answer to the question am I a time traveler? I can only say that a true chrononaut takes an oath never to reveal that fact, unless it is an emergency to do so. To do so would be a breach of what is known as timeline international security laws that exist in the future. Chrononauts always seek to stimulate the intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth. The answer to the question am I a time traveler can best be determined by you.

But we’re getting off track. Coach Chizik was actually making us aware of a very legitimate issue. Vampires among us. So, let’s heed his warning and know your vampires:

 

For those playing at home, we have Dracula, Blacula, Count Chocula, Count Von Count, Bat-Boy, Edward Cullen, George Hamilton, and playing the role of the Energy Vampire, we have the 10,000 Volt Ghost from Scooby Doo. Sorry, no room for Count Duckula, because he’s a duck and duck vampires don’t exist. Oh, and id you were wondering about George Hamilton, go rent Love at First Bite:

 

I’d ignore Once Bitten, although it does have its moments:

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